DON'T STEP ON MY T.O.E.'s, or: SCIENCE I CAN ACTUALLY GET IN TO

For decades quantum physicists and theoretical scientists have been trying to find one unifying theory that would unite all the different theories explaining the laws of the universe: how time and space interact, why things happen the way they happen, why does the universe behave the way it does, and why do seemingly random events occur and what impact do they have on the cosmos and on us. This elusive theory even came to have a name, as all objects of a quest should have. It was and is referred to as the Theory of Everything, or TOE (now my title seems pretty clever, huh?)

Now along comes String Theory. I am not making any of this up, and I don't profess to fully understand it, but it is a real theory that Nobel winners and renowned scientists are embracing and exploring. There are all sorts of mathematics and science involved that make my head spin, and there are avenues of the theory that don't interest me in the slightest, but there are several aspects of it that make perfect sense to me. According to String Theory, everything in the universe is actually physically connected via a "string" (or ether perhaps), or series of parallel strings . And everything means EVERYTHING: time, space, dimension: everything is interconnected. and as this/these string/s is or are not rigid, but flexible, they can actually occupy space and resonate in time in a way that could allow for certain previously unthinkable things to occur: a glimpse of a future or past, a connection between two wildly disparate objects, etc. Think of a guitar string- it exists in a straight line, but when plucked it actually vibrates in a way where it appears to be in multiple places at once. Also, according to this theory, things end up attached to the string exactly where they belong- like knots in a macrame necklace, or that the parallel strings can intertwine as well.

A man has visions of or sensory knowledge of a woman who keeps appearing to him throughout his life in ways that defy explanation, but never in a completely tangible way, until one day, in a concrete way that can't be denied, his visions/dreams become manifest in a physical, magical being who seems to be an ideal match for him, and who complements him in every way. Mystical Horseshit? Not according to String Theory. According to string theory these two objects in space and time were actually attracted to and a part of each other to begin with, whether they are consciously aware of it or not.

What strikes me a bit about this theory is that it almost sounds like a scientific explanation for God and religion as well, but that isn't in any of the articles I read, as science and religion don't tend to go to bed together often. But if you think about it, it is not that big of a leap to connect the two.

I have an open mind, and I am not prone to falling for horseshit. But I know what I have experienced in my life, and this is the first time I have come across an explanation for some of the weird shit that could make sense. Each of us exist in time and space, unique unto ourselves, but perhaps when two objects are so right together, so complementary, then maybe they find each other in time and space because they are meant to.

String Theory doesn't address emotions necessarily; it is about mathematics and physics. But aren't love and passion and feelings as elemental as anything else in the universe? I have drifted through time and space for so many years, getting small little hints and glimpses of something/someone who I felt was a part of me, but always remained elusive. And then I actually met you in the flesh Lili, and those small hints and glimpses of magic paled in comparison to the joy and love and hope that you have actually inspired in me.

Maybe we have been residing on parallel strings, occasionally intertwining with one another, and only now have we actually been able to wrap ourselves into a knot that will give us a permanence in this universe. The life you have been living was not the knot, just a brief entanglement that the universe and you have recognized as momentary- like a ball of yarn that has to be unwound. But for me, I like to think that we have been bumping into each other for a while, whether we knew it or not, and now that we do recognize each other we will create the strongest knot in the universe, and we will never be parted again.

So maybe there is something a bit mystic in all of this my love. While a theory can explain how or why something might happen, it can't begin to decipher the things that make us human, that explains our wants, needs, and desires. All I know is this: my physical days on this earth are numbered, but the love and passion I have for you are solid and without limits, they will exist long after I pass on to whatever awaits me. They are wrapped up in the knot we have tied together in the infinite ether of the universe, and they will visit you time and again, to comfort you when I am not around, to serve as an example to others, to influence others in a positive way. I am human, I have many faults, but everything good that I have or could be has been strengthened by your love and compassion, and we will shine as the brightest stars in the galaxy, undimmed for all time.

There is a song by Van Morrison- not "Brown Eyed Girl", but one called "She Gives Me Religion". I always loved the song, but never really got the sentiment. I get it now Lili. Too many people use religion for whatever purposes serve them, unfortunately some of your friends are doing this as well. But maybe they should be thinking about what purpose they should be serving their religion instead.

Whatever you want to call your religion by: Science, String Theory, The Theory of Everything, God, Jehovah, whatever; I know this to be true: you and I are serving our religion well, and it is timeless, and true, and right, and the universe approves.

Sorry for this story, it isn't much of one and is probably pretty boring. But I just wanted to make a (pathetic I am sure) attempt to convey what I am feeling and how and why you are so special and important to me. It isn't just for petty, selfish reasons- but it is because it is the way it should be, and it was only possible for me with you.

And I like the idea that you and I will continue to be bound together, throughout time and space, to revel in our love for eternity.

And if that doesn't have the hand of God in it, then what else possibly could?