STRANGE SHADOWS IN A DISTANT ROOM

I lie here, a thousand miles away from her, lights off, body tired, mind wandering. I know I can't sleep now, but something told me to turn everything off, relax my mind and body, drift off into the ether, and see where I would land. A very faint light illuminates the room through the window, and the corners of my little hotel world are hiding in shadows, concealing whispers, secrets, and dreams.

I lie here, trying to stay perfectly still, regulating my breathing, slowly glancing about, listening carefully, as if I could conjure her here by sheer force of will. I cannnot of course- but there is a feeling of proximity that I can't explain, as if she lingers in the shadows wherever I may be, whispering words of love.

Could she be there, I wonder? Are the emotions and feelings and love I feel for her so strong that perhaps a part of what we share together knows no earthly bounds? Because after a few minutes of lying here, heart heavy, missing her terribly, a strange thing happened. No, she didn't actually appear- that would be silly. But as I lay on the bed, worrying and wondering about her, thinking about the moments we have shared, it almost felt as she was actually surrounding me- almost like that strange wonderous drive back from Michigan. My insides shake and I feel a strange sensation of wonderful tingling throughout my body.

I am sure most people would never understand this, or think that I am some sentimental fool, but the feeling was real and physical. My heart is still heavy because we are apart, but her love and the love I have for her are so strong that she doesn't even need to be here to comfort or console me- it just happens organically.

I know this story makes no sense and has no poetry to it, but I wanted to record it as it happened as this is  such an odd and mystifying, joyous occasion, made bittersweet by the fact that she isn't actually here, and I would give anything to have her in my arms right now.

I will try to make more sense of this in a later post- but I know she was, is, and always will be, the only woman for me.

I love her so.