AN INCREDIBLY WEIRD, MORBID REQUEST-PERFECTLY IN KEEPING WITH THE HALLOWEEN SEASON

BOO!!

The following request/favor is probably in the worst possible taste, and I am sure it is completely inappropriate and ill-timed, but it is something that is important to me, and I don't want it to be taken in any other way then what it is intended, just as a simple favor that might be a little odd. There is no driving factor for it, I don't know anything more then I did yesterday, and I am not concerned that I will be rattling chains tomorrow or the next day, but none of us know how long we have and I am trying to make sure that I don't leave anything unspoken in case I get hit by a bus or attacked by rabid weasels.

Whenever my time comes I will be mourned by a handfull of people in some very specific ways. My children will mourn me as a father, my wife will mourn me as a husband, my mother will mourn me as a son, and my sister as a brother. All of them will cry a little, and all of them will miss me in some fashion. But none of them will know who or what I really was, and with time I will become one of those memories that just kind of pops up once in a while, is thought about briefly, and then set aside. None of them will ever know what I really felt or identify with me in any way other than what was specific to them. This is entirely understandable to me as I have never really presented myself to anyone as other than the specific role I thought I should play.

Until now.

There is one person who has seen all of me, good and bad, who I have held nothing back from, and with whom I have shared everything inside of me. My understanding of her nature is such that I know that no matter what our relationship turns into, or wherever it ends up, she will always have feelings for me that no one else has ever had, and those feelings are based on who I am, not what role I was playing.

So.. before the rabid weasels catch up with me: when I go there will be no gravestone, no service, none of the usual trappings, just a furnace and then ashes to be scattered. What I do want is a different kind of memorial, one tended to by her and her alone.

Once the weasels have had their way with me, I want her to go pick out a single long-stemmed crimson rose, dry it and press it, and then attach a note to it that reads: "As Promised, L". Then I want her to put it away. And once a year, on whatever date has significance to her, I want her to pull it out and think of me, and of the time her and I shared together. A tear or two is fine, but most of the time should be spent reflecting on what a joyous, wonderful world this is where two people could find each other, and mean so much to each other, and share themselves so completely and openly, and make a difference in each others lives.

She wouldn't want me returning as an angry, pissed off, fire and brimstone type of phantom, but the simple knowledge that she would do this for me, and that I would know that I made enough of a difference in her life that she would think of me when I am gone, makes a huge difference to me, and gives me the strangest kind of comfort.

Ahhh.. Halloween. It brings out the morbid in me, I know. While I know my little request is completely irrational and bizarre, it has significance to me.

I will be keeping the weasels at bay for as long as possible, until then... happy hauntings.