A PROMISE MADE, AND A FAVOR ASKED

October 2nd, 2010.

On that day the following promise will be fulfilled: I will go with her, wherever and whenever she wants, and I will devote myself to ensuring that she finds the happiness that she deserves. I will do this in any capacity she desires, without question or hesitation, and it will mean as much to me as it hopefully will to her.

I know that much can happen between now and then. There is the possiblility that I am not around, the very real chance that the power of her feelings for me will change or diminish, that she could find someone or something else that manages to fulfill her in ways that I can't, or that her situation actually changes in ways that she has been hoping for. But maybe all of those things are also part of the point as well. As much as she means to me and as much as I feel the warmth of her feelings, It may turn out that I am not the one to complete her. She completes me in every way imagineable, but on balance what I can provide may not be as much as she actually deserves.

So.. that is the promise, and also the foundation for the favor. I am here for her to fulfill her in any way I can for as long as I can, but if the moment ever comes when that isn't enough, or if the circumstances dictate a change in the nature of our relationship, then she needs to let me know immediately. The only way she can hurt me is by behaving in ways that are counter to her character, and if she were to ever hide anything from me just for the sake of sparing me, it would kill me. She has invited me into her world, and allowed me to experience emotions and sensations that I didn't even know I had, and I will take those with me no matter what happens, and be better for it. Ultimately my eternal happiness will rest with knowing that she has found her happiness in her world, whether I have a large or small place in it is irrelevant, as long as I have some part that she will share with me.

This is the promise, and this is the favor. She deserves everything, and I will give her what I can. And no matter what road she ends up taking, I will be there- smiling, knowing that she has found what she needed, and that I helped in some way.

How could it be any other way?